83 Austin Powers Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

Do you love the Austin Powers movies? If you do, you’re going to love this blog post! We’ve collected 83 of the funniest quotes from all three movies. Whether you’re a fan of Austin Powers, Dr. ****, or both, these quotes will make you laugh hard. So put on your shades and get ready for some groovy fun!

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Austin Powers Quotes

1. “Judo chop!” – Austin Powers
2. “Shagadelic, Baby.” – Austin Powers
3. “I’ve lost my mojo.” – Austin Powers
4. “That’s a man, baby.” – Austin Powers
5. “I won’t bite… hard.” – Austin Powers
6. “I choose love, baby!” – Austin Powers
7. “It Got Weird, Didn’t It?” – Austin Powers
8. “I demand a little respect.” – Austin Powers
9. “You really are a fat *******!” – Austin Powers
10. “Oh, behave! Yeah! Yeah, baby!” – Austin Powers
11. “What does number two work for?” – Austin Powers
12. “I’m The Boss. I Need The Info.” – Austin Powers
13. “Throw Me A Frickin’ Bone Here!” – Austin Powers
14. “Dr. ****’s not your son! I am!” – Austin Powers
15. “Who needs swag when you have mojo?” – Austin Powers
16. “I Like To See Girls Of That…Caliber?” – Austin Powers
17. “Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!” – Austin Powers
18. “Powers by name, powers by reputation.” – Austin Powers
19. “If you have an issue. Here’s a tissue!” – Austin Powers
20. “It turns out that Vanessa was a fembot.” – Austin Powers
21. “Why Must I Be Surrounded By Frickin’ Idiots?” – Austin Powers
22. “Name? Austin Danger Powers. ***? Yes please!” – Austin Powers
23. “Whoopty Doo. But what does it all mean, basil?” – Austin Powers
24. “Why Make Trillions, When We Can Make…Billions?” – Austin Powers
25. “So, Shall We **** Now, Or Shall We **** Later?” – Austin Powers
26. “She’s the village bicycle! Everyone’s had a ride.” – Austin Powers
27. “Not Really. **** The Little B****, See If I Care.” – Austin Powers
28. “She’s the village bicycle! Everyone’s had a ride.” – Austin Powers
29. “There’s Nothing More Pathetic Than An Aging Hipster!” – Austin Powers
30. “Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly!” – Austin Powers
31. “No, This Is Me In A Nutshell: HELP! I’m In A Nutshell!” – Austin Powers
32. “I eat because I am unhappy. I’m unhappy because I eat.” – Austin Powers
33. “How Do You Like To Do It? Do You Like To Wash Up First?” – Austin Powers
34. “You’re The Best **** Son An **** Dad Could Ever Ask For.” – Austin Powers
35. “Are those sharks with laser beams attached to their heads?” – Austin Powers
36. “Well, you make me many things but sleepy’s not one of them.” – Austin Powers
37. “Finally, We Come To My Number-Two Man. His Name? Number Two.” – Austin Powers
38. “Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.” – Austin Powers
39. “I Want My Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back Ribs.Get In My Belly!” – Austin Powers
40. “Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.” – Austin Powers
41. “Well, You Might Be A Cunning Linguist, But I’m A Master Debater.” – Austin Powers
42. “You’re The Diet Coke Of ****. Just One Calorie. Not **** Enough.” – Austin Powers
43. “Well, You Might Be A Cunning Linguist, But I’m A Master Debater.” – Austin Powers
44. “Just Know That I Have A Whole Bag Of ‘Shh!’ With Your Name On It.” – Austin Powers
45. “I think you’re shagedelic baby! You’re switched on! You’re smashing!” – Austin Powers
46. “No, don’t be sorry, baby. You’re right to be suspicious. I shagged her.” – Austin Powers
47. “I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!” – Austin Powers
48. “That’s fascinating, Vanessa. Listen, why don’t we go in the back and ****?” – Austin Powers
49. “Is He Sleeping? Well, That’s Okay. I Guess Mini-Me Won’t Get Any… Chocolate!” – Austin Powers
50. “My meat and two veg. My twig and berries. H-ello, lads, are you still awake?” – Austin Powers
51. “Well Don’t Look At Me Like I’m Frickin’ Frankenstein! Give Your Father A Hug!” – Austin Powers
52. “Are Those, Frickin’ Sharks With Frickin’ Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads?” – Austin Powers
53. “The Details Of My Life Are Quite Inconsequential. Very Well, Where Do I Begin?” – Austin Powers
54. “Well, of course, you haven’t had the pleasure, Rebecca. We just met, baby, yeah.” – Austin Powers
55. “You know what’s remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.” – Austin Powers
56. “I’m Not Saying It’s Hot, But I’m Pretty Sure The Thermometer Reads ‘*****’s Balls.’” – Austin Powers
57. “They ARE After My Lucky Charms!What? Why Does Everyone Always Laugh When I Say That?” – Austin Powers
58. “Well, I vana toilet made out of solid gold, but it’s just not in the cards now, is it?” – Austin Powers
59. “You know, Dr. ****, I have always thought you were crazy, but now I can see you’re nuts.” – Austin Powers
60. “Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick!” – Austin Powers
61. “Jimi Hendrix Deceased, Dr*gs. Janis Joplin Deceased, Alc*hol. Mama Cass Deceased, Ham Sandwich.” – Austin Powers
62. “First, I plan to soil myself. Then I’m going to regroup and come up with a new plan. Any thoughts?” – Austin Powers
63. “Now, Ladies And Gentlemen, We Finally Have A Working Tractor Beam, Which We Shall Call… Preparation H.” – Austin Powers
64. “Doctor ****! I Didn’t Spend Six Years In **** Medical School To Be Called ‘Mister,’ Thank You Very Much.” – Austin Powers
65. “I Mean, Look At You. You Don’t Even Have A Name Tag. You’ve Got No Chance. Why Don’t You Just Fall Down?” – Austin Powers
66. “No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man’s so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.” – Austin Powers
67. “My Father Would Womanize. He Would Drink. He Would Make Outrageous Claims Like He Invented The Question Mark.” – Austin Powers
68. “That really hurt! I’m gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!” – Austin Powers
69. “Well everyone has their own flying car, entire meals come in pill form, and the Earth is run by **** dirty apes.” – Austin Powers
70. “Oh ****, Let’s Just Do What We Always Do ” – Hijack Some Nuclear Weapons And Hold The World Hostage, Yeah? Good.” – Austin Powers
71. “There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.” – Austin Powers
72. “You Know, I Have One Simple Request, And That Is To Have Sharks With Frickin’ Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads!” – Austin Powers
73. “Pardon me for being rude, it was not me it was my food, it just popped up to say hello, but now it’s gone back down below.” – Austin Powers
74. “There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… and the Dutch.” – Austin Powers
75. “That Makes Me Angry, And When Dr. **** Gets Angry, Mr. Bigglesworth Gets Upset. And When Mr. Bigglesworth Gets Upset, People Die!” – Austin Powers
76. “Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war. Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.” – Austin Powers
77. “What we swingers were going against were uptight squares like you whose bag was money and world domination. We were innocent, man.” – Austin Powers
78. “Ladies And Gentlemen, Welcome To My Submarine Lair. It’s Long, Hard, And Full Of Seamen! [Silence] No? Nothing? Not Even A Titter? Tough Sub…” – Austin Powers
79. “The 70s and the 80s? You’re not missing anything, believe me. I’ve looked into it. There’s a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That’s about it.” – Austin Powers
80. “Austin Powers…He’s The Snake To My Mongoose… Or The Mongoose To My Snake… Either Way, It’s Bad. I Don’t Know Animals. But I Do Know This: This Time, It’s Personal.” – Austin Powers
81. “I can’t believe Vanessa, my bride, my one true love, the woman who taught me the beauty of monogamy, was a fembot all along. Wait a tick, that means I’m single again! Oh, behave!” – Austin Powers
82. “Mole. ****** mole. We aren’t supposed to talk about the ****** mole, but there’s a ****** mole winking me in the face. I want to c-u-u-t it off, ch-o-o-p it off, and make guacamole.” – Austin Powers
83. “How Do You Like To Do It? Do You Like To Wash Up First? Top And Tails? A *****’s Bath? Personally, Before I’m On The Job, I Like To Give My Undercarriage A Bit Of A ‘How’s-Your-Father.’” – Austin Powers

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Wrapping Up

We hope you enjoyed this roundup of 83 hilarious quotes from the Austin Powers movies. If you’re a fan of these films, be sure to share this post with your friends and family. And if you’re looking for more laughs, check out our other blog posts on funny movie quotes and TV show quotes. Thanks for reading!