Do you love the Shrek movies? If so, you’re going to love this blog post! We have collected 85 of the best quotes from the Shrek movies, and we’ve put them all in one place for you. Whether you’re looking for a funny quote about life or love, or you just want to know what Shrek thinks about friendship, you’ll find it here. So sit back, relax, and enjoy these funny quotes from everyone’s favorite ogre!
Contents
Shrek Quotes
- “Eat me.” – Gingerbread Man
- “Ogres are like onions.” – Shrek
- “Wow. Let’s do that again.” – Donkey
- “That’ll do Donkey, that’ll do.” – Shrek
- “You don”t entertain much, do you?” – Donkey
- “You didn”t slay the dragon?”- Princess Fiona
- “Donkey, two things okay? Shut… up.” – Shrek
- “I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.” – Pinocchio
- “What kind of a knight are you?” – Princess Fiona
- “What kind of a knight are you?” – Princess Fiona
- ‘So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?’ – Donkey
- “I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.” – Donkey
- “I’m going to be a father, how did this happen?” – Shrek
- ‘Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers.’ – Shrek
- “Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” – Shrek
- “Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” – Shrek
- “Do you think maybe he”s compensating for something?” – Shrek
- “Wow, only a true friend would be that truly honest.” – Donkey
- “Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” – Donkey
- “Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.” – Donkey
- “No, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons!” – Gingerbread Man
- “The battle is won. You may remove your helmet.” – Princess Fiona
- “Because that’s what friends do, they FORGIVE EACH OTHER.” – Donkey
- “And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what”s he like?” – Princess Fiona
- “Whoa. Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?” – Donkey
Funny Shrek Quotes
- “Can I stay with you? Please?’” – Donkey
- “Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that.” – Donkey
- “Please. I would”st look upon the face of my rescuer.” – Princess Fiona
- “It’s gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on.” – Donkey
- “Hey! I”m no one”s messenger boy, all right? I”m a delivery boy.”- Shrek
- “Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.” – Captain of Guards
- “Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.” – Magic Mirror
- “But, I don”t understand. I”m supposed to be beautiful.” – Princess Fiona
- “See? There you are doing it again, just like you did to Fiona.” – Donkey
- “Oh and it is lovely. You know, you”re really quite a decorator.” – Donkey
- “You love this woman don”t ya?” – Donkey, getting to the heart of the matter.
- “He hooffed unt he poooffed unt he… signed an eviction notice.” – Little Pig
- “Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” – Lord Farquaad
- “Alright, nobody move. I”ve got a dragon and I”m not afraid to use it.” – Donkey
- “Some of you may die, but it”s a sacrifice I”m willing to make.” – Lord Farquaad
- “Ogres are like onions.”- Shrek, attempting to explain his complexities to Donkey.
- “Shrek, Fiona will you accept an Old Frog’s apology and my blessing?” – King Harold
- “Don’t you want to tell me about your trip? How about a game of Parcheesi?” – Donkey
- “Well my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty, must be a high school.” – Shrek
- ‘Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?’ – Donkey
- “What are you doing in my swamp?” – Shrek, upon having his privacy enormously invaded.
- “Then you gotta try a little tenderness! The chicks love that romantic crap.” – Donkey
- “Don”t die, Shrek. And if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!” – Donkey
- “Someday, I Will Repay You. Unless, Of Course, I Can’t Find You Or If I Forget.” – Shrek
- “You”re so wrapped up in layers onion boy, you”re afraid of your own feelings.” – Donkey
Shrek Quotes About Love
- “All right, you are ugly. But you”re only like this at night. Shrek”s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey
- ‘And then one time I ate some rotten berries.’ – Donkey, on his natural observation skills.
- “Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead. That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.” – Shrek
- “What”s that? It”s hideous.” “Well, that”s not very nice. It”s just a donkey.” – Lord Farquaad
- “I”m not a puppet. I”m a real boy.” – Pinocchio, objecting in the extreme to being objectified.
- “No! I’m an ogre! You know, “Grab your torch and pitchforks!” Doesn’t that bother you?” – Shrek
- “But this isn”t right. You”re meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying.” – Princess Fiona
- “Run, run, run as fast as you can. You can”t catch me, I”m the Gingerbread Man.” – Lord Farquaad
- “I”m an ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchfork. Doesn”t that bother you?” ‘Nope!” – Shrek
- “After a while you learn to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are.” – Shrek
- “That”s another thing we have in common. I hate it when you”ve got someone in your face.” – Donkey
- “Before this is over, I”m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitching.” – Donkey
- “Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” – Donkey
- “No, I”m just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a boiling lake of lava!” – Donkey
- “You know what the best part of today was? I got the chance to fall in love with you all over again.” – Shrek
- “You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain”t never seen a donkey fly.”- Donkey
Shrek Quotes About Life
- “This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles!” – Donkey
- “You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.” – Donkey
- So where is this fire-breathin” pain in the neck, anyway?” ‘In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.’ – Donkey
- “Really, it”s rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?” – Lord Farquaad
- “This is gonna be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles.” – Donkey
- “A girl dragon… Oh, sure, I mean of course you”re a girl dragon! You”re just reeking of feminine beauty.” – Donkey
- “I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.” – Donkey
- “Oh, this is one of those onion things, isn”t it?” “No, it”s one of those “drop it and leave it alone” things.” – Shrek
- “And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases eeking outta my butt that day.” – Donkey
- ‘Go over there and see if you can find any stairs!’ – Shrek, keeping Donkey busy while he gets on with rescuing the princess.
- “C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” – Donkey
- “You don”t know what it”s like to be considered a freak… well, maybe you do, but that”s why we gotta stick together.” – Donkey
- ‘Oh yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?’ “Because that”s what friends do! They forgive each other!” – Donkey
- “Wow, that was really scary and if you don”t mind me saying, if that don”t work, your breath will certainly get the job done.” – Donkey
Shrek Quotes About Friendships
- “What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.” – Princess Fiona
- “Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn”t color-blind!” – Donkey
- “By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm. Until you find true love”s first kiss. And then take love”s true form.” – Princess Fiona
- “Oh, Shrek. Don’t worry, things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. It’ll be better in the morning. You’ll see.” – Donkey
- “Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!” – Donkey
- “You gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad “ll give you back your swamp, which you only don”t have “cos he filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?” – Donkey
- “I mean, white sparkly teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something “cause that”s one dazzling smile you got there! And do I detect a hint of minty freshness? “- Donkey
Wrapping Up
Shrek and Donkey’s friendship is one of the greatest in movie history. Whether it’s funny quotes about life, true declarations of love, or lessons in friendship, these Shrek quotes will bring a smile to your face and remind you that adventure is out there. Live life with a little bit of ogre in your heart!
