125 Weed Quotes That Are Funny, Creative, and Insightful

When it comes to weed quotes, there are plenty of hilarious, creative, and insightful ones to choose from. Whether you’re looking for something to share with your friends, or just want to learn more about the culture of cannabis, weed quotes can provide an entertaining and educational experience. These quotes will make you laugh out loud and maybe even give you a little insight into the world of cannabis. Without further ado, here are 125 of the best weed quotes out there!

Weed Quotes

1. “Stoners are cute; junkies are sad.” – Kevin Smith
2. “I smoked pot in college, and in the Army.” – Al Gore
3. “It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.” – Bill Lee
4. “I smoke a lot of pot when I write music.” – Lady Gaga
5. “I don’t do drugs, though. Just weed.” – Dave Chappelle
6. “It makes me feel the way I need to feel.” – Snoop Dogg
7. “A friend with weed is a friend indeed…” – Pops O’Donnell
8. “Of course I know how to roll a joint.” – Martha Stewart
9. “I have used cannabis all over the world.” – Rick Steves
10. “Sketchy: I’m no stranger to stoner logic.” – Joss Whedon
11. “Marijuana is fuel for a creative mind.” – A.K. Kuykendall
12. “That is not a drug, it’s a leaf.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger
13. “Everything is better with a bag of weed.” – Stewie Griffin
14. “Struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy.” – Kid Cudi
15. “I’ve smoked Marijuana most of my adult life.” – Drew Barrymore
16. “People in grass houses shouldn’t get stoned.” – Brian Spellman
17. “When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself.” – Bob Marley
18. “Kush rolled, glass full. I prefer the better things!” – Rihanna
19. “Stop killing each other man. Let’s just smoke a blunt.” – Tupac
20. “The weed is for the people. It’s the people’s weed.” – Jonah Hill
21. “With the joint you can see the inside of people.” – Yolanda Ramos
22. “My life was empty until I met you” – Sweet Leaf.” – Black Sabbath
23. “Stop killing each other, man. Let’s just smoke a blunt.” – Tupac.
24. “I will Never give up the Ganja – God’s own weed.” – Morgan Freeman
25. “Marijuana may not be addictive, but growing it is.” – Ed Rosenthal
26. “When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.” — Bob Marley
27. “I don’t think [pot] is more dangerous than alcohol.” – Barack Obama
28. “I enjoy smoking cannabis and see no harm in it.” – Jennifer Aniston
29. “When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.” – Bob Marley.
30. “They’ve outlawed the No. 1 vegetable on the planet.” – Timothy Leary
31. “I’m a smoker, my name is Snoop Dogg, and I’m a stoner.” – Snoop Dogg
32. “If I study high, take the test high, I’ll get HIGH scores!” – How High
33. “I got high, and forgot I wasn’t supposed to get high.” – Ricky Williams
34. “I be getting stoned, imma stone cold stoner.” – Jitsu Gaiden, Big Smoker
35. “I don’t consider weed to be any worse than having a beer.” – James Franco
36. “Dude, this is a stoner conversation and we’re not even high.” – Libba Bray
37. “Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.” — Bob Marley
38. “When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” – Barack Obama
39. “Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses.” – Hugh Hefner
40. “If everyone smoked weed, the world would be a better place.” – Kirsten Dunst
41. “Smoke the marijuana and get high. Stay above the wicked and fly.” – Snoop Dogg
42. “Let us burn one from end to end, and pass it over to me my friend.” – Ben Harper
43. “Let that weed take our minds away. We got that stoner luv.” – Ppbtay, Stoner Luv
44. “A marijuana high can enhance core human mental abilities.” – Sebastian Marincolo
45. “Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.” – Robin Williams
46. “A marijuana high can enhance core human mental abilities.” — Sebastian Marincolo
47. “I’m in the section with the stoner kids. This is for us stoner kids.” – Ali, Fusk
48. “Let us burn one from end to end, and pass it over to me, my friend.” – Ben Harper.
49. “I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more.” – Sublime
50. “We shall, by and by, want a world of hemp more for our own consumption.” – John Adams
51. “The weed is rolled, the drink is cold, for you its new for me its old.” – Wiz Khalifa
52. “Cannabis is just way too healthy for a sick health care system.” – Sebastian Marincolo
53. “The only serious side-effect of marijuana is that you might get arrested.” – Alan watts
54. “If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it.” — John Lennon
55. “Writing to me is like hitting the herb. No problems, Mon. No worries.” – A.K. Kuykendall
56. “If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it.” – John Lennon
57. “I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it.” – Andy Warhol
58. “Make the most you can of the Indian Hemp seed and sow it everywhere.” – George Washington
59. “Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country.” – Thomas Jefferson
60. “If you grew up in the ’60s or ’70s, and didn’t do drugs I don’t trust you.” – Danny Danko
61. “You can stump any stoner with one question: What were we just talking about?” – Jim Breuer
62. “Make the most you can of the Indian hemp seed and sow it everywhere.” – George Washington.
63. “Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working?” – Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
64. “Grandpa Stoner, Grandpa Stoner. Is what I wanna be when I am 63.” – Airportface, Grandpa Stoner
65. “I use weed to get rid of the pain and if I never used weed I would probably go insane.” – Tupac
66. “Is that a joint man? That there looks like a quarter-pounder.” – Cheech and Chong – Up in Smoke
67. “Even if one doesn’t smoke pot one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it!” – Danny Devito
68. “Imma lonely stoner. All my life, ah loner. I’m smoking on this Ganja” – Dope Cashh, Lonely Stoner
69. “Please don’t throw your shit at me…unless that shit resembles a bag of marijuana.” – Les Claypool
70. “The day you quit sharing weed with a friend is the day you should quit smoking pot.” – Tommy Chong
71. “I love stoner comedies. I smoked weed in college, but I haven’t smoked in years.” – Natalie Portman
72. “Marijuana is not a drug!!! I used to suck dick for coke! You ever suck DICK for marijuana?” – Bob Saget
73. “I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.” – Bill Murray
74. “Marijuana saved my life. I have no doubts about it and you don’t need to show me any data.” – Greg Scott
75. “I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.” – Bill Murray.
76. “I actually don’t smoke weed, but I’ve played a lot of stoners – especially with Seth Rogen.” – James Franco
77. “I’ve been smoking marijuana for 44 years now, and … I think it’s a tremendous blessing.” – Lester Grinspoon
78. “If you substitute marijuana for tobacco and alcohol, you’ll add eight to 24 years to your life.” – Jack Herer
79. “I wake up early in the morning and it feels so good. Smoking on some shit that you wish you could.” – Snoop Dogg
80. “I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about getting weed is getting caught with it.” — Bill Murray
81. “The greatest service that can be rendered to any country is to add a useful plant to its culture.” – Thomas Jefferson
82. “People say you can abuse marijuana. You can abuse cheeseburgers. Does that mean we should close Burger Kings.” – Joe Rogan
83. “Music and herb go together. It’s been a long time now I smoke herb. From 1960’s, when I first start singing.” – Bob Marley
84. “I have no interest in smoking marijuana, but I can’t see any reason to keep someone of age from lighting up.” – Henry Rollins
85. “I hope they legalize marijuana and when they do I’ll be the first fucking person in line to buy my pack of joints.” – Megan Fox
86. “Instead of taking five or six of the prescriptions, I decided to go the natural route and smoke marijuana.” – Melissa Etheridge
87. “Federal and state laws (should) be changed to no longer make it a crime to possess marijuana for private use.” – Richard Nixon.
88. “The biggest killer on the planet is stress and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis.” – Willie Nelson
89. “You know that weed can really ease your mind. Every time I smoke good reefer that indo high makes me fly.” – Bone Thugs N Harmony
90. “You know you’re a stoner when your friends make you a Bob Marley cake. You know you smoke way too much f – king weed!” – Miley Cyrus
91. “‎Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see.” – Thomas Jefferson
92. “Rollin’ like a stoner, I don’t care about everything. Out of control, I forgot to take my medicine.” – Vic Mensa, Rollin’ Like a Stoner
93. “Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp and playing my Hohner harmonica.” – Abraham Lincoln.
94. “I know you’re supposed to tell kids not to do drugs, but, kids, do it! Do weed! Don’t do the other stuff, but weed is good!” – Kevin Smith
95. “Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating.” – Richard Neville
96. “Alcohol and marijuana, if used in moderation, plus loud, usually low-class music, make stress and boredom infinitely more bearable.” – Kurt Vonnegut
97. “I get so high I’m addicted to heights. I left that bitch and I didn’t say bye. I’m a stoner. I always got them stoner eyes.” – STRIPEZVU, Stoner Eyes
98. “You know what I’m really tired of is people getting arrested for the possession of marijuana. It’s just a plant. It makes no sense.” – Madeline Martinez
99. “I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this, but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit to do.” – Friday
100. “Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit unnatural?” – Bill Hicks
101. “Littering and smoking the reefer. Now to teach you boys a lesson, me and officer Rabbit are going to stand here while you three smoke the whole bag” – Super Troopers
102. “Like a brain surgeon who drinks a martini when he’s not on call, the successful kids in your school may smoke pot on occasion, but they are not stoners.” – Bill O’Reilly
103. “Only those who’re high on the herb can truly appreciate Marley. Lean back, enjoy life and really listen to him. ‘…every little thing gonna be alright…” – A.K. Kuykendall
104. “We talk to each other in code. We said that 420 was a special number. It was a time. It was a date. It was a symbol for what we did for passive resistance.” – Rick Cusick
105. “Many artists and writers have used cannabis for creative stimulation – from the writers of the world’s religious masterpieces to our most irreverent satirists.” – Jack Herer
106. “People say you can abuse marijuana. Well shit, you can abuse cheeseburgers too, you know? You don‘t go around closing Burger King because you can abuse something.” – Joe Rogan
107. “I watched a lot of pot movies before we did this [Pineapple Express]. My favorites were always the characters in movies that weren’t necessarily in stoner movies.” – Seth Rogen
108. “It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics … dope and all that crap. It’s a thousand times better than whiskey – it’s an assistant – a friend.” – Louis Armstrong
109. “Why do I do it? Because I enjoy its effects. You know, I – why does anybody use any mind-altering substance, you know, because they like the way it makes them feel.” – Mark Stepnoski
110. “I’d like to see the government back a program of research into the medical properties of cannabis and I do not object to its responsible use as a recreational relaxant.” – Sir Richard Branson
111. “Several states are now looking into the possibility of taxing marijuana as a source of revenue. That is so typical of the government, isn’t it? Trying to squeeze blood from a stoner.” – Jay Leno
112. “I’m trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I’m stoned or because I have no blood left in my body.” – Pineapple Express
113. “I can relate to anyone. I can hang out with stoners, skaters, surfers, stockbrokers, lawyers, athletes, rappers. I feel I can hang out with any group of people and find common ground to talk with them.” – Barry Zito
114. “Stoners just got a powerful new ally in the fight to legalize marijuana – conservative broadcaster Pat Robertson. He said it’s time to ‘you know, legalize it, tax it, and keep it away from Mel Gibson.” – Craig Ferguson
115. “Unquestionably, this drug is very useful to the artist, activating trains of association that would otherwise be inaccessible, and I owe many of the scenes in Naked Lunch directly to the use of cannabis.” – William Burroughs
116. “With more and more states legalizing marijuana, companies are lining up to create the first marijuana breathalyzer. Officials say the toughest part is getting stoners to stop trying to inhale off the breathalyzer.” – Jimmy Fallon
117. “There’s [an] ironic, almost tragic phenomenon, which is that seniors, who are one of the groups who can most benefit from use of cannabis, are the single group which remains most opposed to reforming cannabis laws.” – Steve DeAngelo
118. “Smokin’ weed, smokin’ Wizz, / Doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers, / Drinkin’ beers, beers, beers, / Rollin’ fattys, smokin’ blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? / We smoke the blunts. / Rollin’ blunts and smokin’.” – Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back
119. “The criminalization of cannabis did not prevent cannabis from becoming the most widely used illegal substance in the United States and many other countries. But it did result in extensive costs and negative consequences.” – Jerry Spiegel
120. “New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my email, and the next thing I know it’s three days later, I’m in the desert, I’m banging on a drum, I’m naked, and somebody’s pierced my dick.” – Bill Maher
121. “The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world.” – Carl Sagan
122. “We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers…” – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
123. “I’d always done a lot of sniffing glue as a kid. I was very interested in glue, and then I went to lager and speed, and I drifted into heroin because as a kid growing up everybody told me, ‘don’t smoke marijuana, it will kill you.’” – Irvine Welsh
124. “I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits — and millions of Americans agree with me.” — Hunter S. Thompson
125. “I think people need to be educated about the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?” – Willie Nelson

Final Thoughts

Weed has become a part of many people’s lives for its various therapeutic, recreational and medicinal benefits. As more states legalize marijuana, it is increasingly important that we have an open dialogue about the positive aspects of cannabis culture so that it can be enjoyed responsibly and in good health. Whether you’re a medical user or a recreational enthusiast, there’s no denying the power of weed to bring people together and provide a sense of peace, relaxation and connection. With that in mind, it’s safe to say that cannabis use is here to stay.

So the next time you’re enjoying some weed with friends or family, remember the words of those who have spoken out on behalf of the herb – “smoke it if you got it!”. Until then, stay safe and enjoy responsibly.